I've Ruined You
by ChoCedric
Summary: Gods, Dora, I've made you and our baby an outcast. I'm so sorry, love." Remus's reaction when he finds out Tonks is pregnant.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

I've Ruined You

By: ChoCedric

Remus John Lupin simply could not believe that he was married to Nymphadora Tonks. Ever since Sirius had passed through the veil, he'd been incredibly lonely. Tonks had sensed that, and had sought out his company. The two of them had become extremely close over the following year, and it was obvious she liked him as more than a friend. But it seemed to Remus that everyone who got close to him had something awful happen to them. After all, every single one of his friends was no more. James, Lily, and Sirius were dead, and Peter was, well, not the Peter he used to know, so he was dead too, in a way.

Remus knew he was also too old for Tonks. She was so vibrant and full of life, and she deserved much better. The happiness on her face was something that always tugged at the werewolf's heart, and she didn't need a lonely man like him in her life. He was also extremely poor, and how was he going to give Tonks everything she needed? He couldn't shower her with gifts, even though she told him over and over again that she didn't care.

But the straw that broke the camel's back was the fact that Remus was a werewolf. He'd been bitten at the age of five by Fenrir Greyback, and from then on, his life had been a mess of full moons and excruciating transformations. Tonks didn't deserve a monster like him. It had been hard enough for him to let Lily and the Marauders in, but now they were all gone. Remus couldn't bear to mar Tonks' beautiful complexion with tears and sorrow every time he transformed; he hated to see the worry lines that would crease her face when he told her that a full moon was nearing.

But times grew desperate with Dumbledore's death, and this broke the foundations of Remus's world. Ever since the age of eleven, Albus had been his mentor, and he'd come to rely on him. His death, performed by none other than Severus Snape, was such a shock to his system that he lost all of his senses. Tonks had come to him that night, shaken and in tears, after the fiasco in the hospital wing, and Remus had completely lost himself in her, and on a dangerous whim, he'd asked her to marry him. He'd regretted it a second later.

The wedding had been very soon after that. Remus knew Tonks's life was in even more danger now, because Bellatrix probably would have found out about their marriage and would be even more thirsty for her blood. Andromeda and Ted, Tonks's parents, were even repulsed by their marriage. Who in their right mind would want to marry a destitute, careworn monster like him? It was apparent what they thought, and Remus agreed with them. Their daughter deserved someone who could really love her and take care of her.

Remus was lying in bed, waking up to another cloudy morning. The war was getting worse every day, and the Ministry had fallen. Scrimgeour was dead, and Voldemort and his supporters were taking over everywhere. It brought back horrific memories of the First War for the lycanthrope, but this time he didn't have Albus or his friends to be there with him. Of course there was Harry, but he was God knows where right now. He hoped he was at Grimmauld Place, but couldn't be too sure.

Tonks came into the room, looking very serious. She had already been up when Remus opened his eyes, and he guessed she'd been puttering around the kitchen. But now, she was standing by the bed, looking serious but there was a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Good morning, sleepyhead," she said jokingly. "How are you?"

"I'm as fine as I can be, Dora," Remus answered. "Are you alright? What's got you looking so serious?"

"Ah, that," said Tonks, and for some reason, her hand was resting upon her stomach. "I have a surprise for you, Remus," she said. "I think you'll want to sit up for this."

Remus sat up, a knot forming in the pit of his stomach. What on Earth was Tonks going to tell him? She sat on the bed next to him, holding his hand and wearing a soft smile.

"You're not going to believe this," she said quietly. "You know how I've been feeling a little sick lately?"

"Yeah," said Remus worriedly. "Do you know what's wrong?"

"Yep, I do," said Tonks, smiling even wider. "And it's great news! Remus, you're going to be a daddy! We're having a baby!" She threw her arms around her husband in pure joy.

But Remus did not return the embrace. His entire face had gone white, and he began to shake.

"Remus?" Tonks said in concern. "Are you all right? I know we weren't careful, I know this may not be the best time, I know we got carried away, but look, we're going to be parents!"

"May not be the best time?" croaked Remus, horror gripping at him. This could not be happening. No, no, no, no, no. "This is awful, Dora! This is completely awful! We're in the middle of a war, this is no time to be having a baby!"

"If I may remind you, Remus, Harry was born in the middle of a war ..."

"Exactly!" said Remus, suddenly leaping up from the bed. "And look what happened to Lily and James! They're dead!"

"That doesn't mean that'll happen to us," Tonks cried, trying to put a hand on his shoulder, but he roughly batted it away.

"Tonks, I've ruined you. I've ruined everything!" Remus said in despair, sinking back onto the bed and putting his head in his hands. "I've made you an outcast, and our baby, too! My kind don't usually breed!"

"Remus, it isn't definite that our baby will even be a werewolf, and you know it!" said Tonks, her voice starting to quiver.

"Look, Tonks, this just can't happen," Remus sighed. "We can't go through with it. Is there any way you can ... abort it?"

"ABORT IT?" screamed Tonks, her face filling with fury. "I am not getting rid of our baby, Remus John Lupin! How dare you mention such a thing to me!"

"Well, in that case," said Remus sadly, his heart breaking as he realized what he had to do. "I'm packing for you, Dora. I'm taking you to your parents' house."

"What do you mean?" said Tonks in confusion. "Why? Where will you be going?"

"It'll be safer if I'm not with you anymore. Gods, Dora, love, I'm so sorry," Remus said in a broken voice, summoning Tonks's suitcase and starting to throw things into it.

"No! No way!" shrieked Tonks, tears filling her eyes and beginning to stream down her face. "You coward! You can't do this to me! Don't you dare leave me, Remus!"

"It'll be the best thing for you, love," Remus choked, trying to give her a hug, but this time, she was the one to angrily push him away. "I know we've had special times together, and I thank you for all the happiness you brought me. But I can't endanger you or our baby, Dora. Bella's going to be after you more than ever now."

"And Bella will still be after me whether you're around or not!" shouted Tonks. "But you know what, you're right! Maybe it is the best thing for us if you leave! The fact that you want to abandon us shows what kind of a man you really are, Remus John Lupin, and I'm sorry I ever married you, YOU COMPLETE COWARD!" Sobbing, she took over the packing.

Within minutes, she was ready to leave, and they apparated to Ted and Andromeda's house. Remus watched, heartbroken, as his young, beautiful, pregnant wife gave him a look filled with such hurt that he wanted to gather her in his arms, but he couldn't afford to. His eyes filled with tears of his own as he watched her and her parents' reunion through the window. She ran into her mother's arms, sobbing, and Andromeda glanced at the window and saw him. The look she threw at him was filled with such disgust, and it clearly said, how dare you do this to my precious daughter. How dare you break her heart.

So as Remus Lupin apparated away from the commitment of now and forever that he'd made to Tonks, his soul was totally shattered. He'd ruined her and their baby forevermore.


End file.
